The husband, pretending to be single, had gotten involved in online romances with a number of women. When one female Internet partner took him up on his invitation to come to his hometown, the man panicked and confessed to his wife. She says the couple then started to deal with their damaged marriage. Internet affairs often precipitate divorce, according to Washington, D. The Internet seems to be the second most common way of meeting people and having affairs, says psychologist Debbie Layton-Tholl of Boca Raton, Fla.
The workplace is still the most popular meeting ground. While the scenarios play out differently, there are often similarities, he says. Wandering sheep slowly meander out of the church, drawn away by other activities or interests.
At other times, people complain about feeling out of place in the church, so they stop showing up. But in fact, such a sheep is sinning by disobeying this command from Scripture. Elders, take notice of members with overly full lives and lovingly remind them not to crowd out congregational fellowship and worship. Jesus never promised us immunity from pain and suffering. Christians get laid off from jobs, dumped in relationships, diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, rear-ended on the highway, and hit with lawsuits.
Once-active believers age and become home-bound. They need someone to slow down and walk with them. Acute hardship can overwhelm even the stoutest saints with despair and sap their ability to maintain normal links with the church. If Job, the man of unmatched patience and faith, had his limits, so do your people. Is that brother or sister supported by other members, whether friends or members of a Bible study?
Are there practical needs that the deacons could address? As elders, we can often serve a struggling member best by alerting and mobilizing the body even as we are reaching out ourselves to provide prayer and counsel. A quick hug and a prayer in the church foyer after the service, an encouraging note, or a short visit can bolster a hurting member to keep pressing on for another month. Just last week, I asked a woman in our congregation about her husband. He has had major health issues that sometimes keep him from worship.
This sister updated me on his status, then went on to praise one of our elders who had taken time to visit them. That one simple house call had lifted their faith and given them strength to persevere.
You will probably find this hard to believe, but I have learned there are churches where members become embroiled in conflict with one another.
If your church is like mine, all the members share identical views about politics and worship music, all the committees approach problem-solving and finances the same way, and no one sins against anyone else. Can you relate? Neither can I. In fact, given the diversity of personalities and backgrounds among our members, coupled with our ongoing propensity to sin, I am amazed we have as much church harmony as we do. It has to be the work of the Holy Spirit.
When church members do lock horns, as inevitably happens, there is major danger of straying. These men can learn to manage their urges and learn how not to jeopardize all they have worked for. Most men in powerful positions and male star athletes have high testosterone levels.
Men with high testosterone levels tend to be more aggressive, have a higher sex drive, want to dominate, be single focused and take more risks. They have spent their lives cultivating an alpha male status. They have testosterone flooding their brains on a minute-to-minute basis. When any man is in the presence of any woman, his testosterone levels will rise.
When a high-testosterone man is in the presence of a beautiful, sexy woman who is flirting with him, his testosterone levels are probably going through the roof. This is the way men were created. Cortisol, a stress hormone, produces caution and protectiveness; however testosterone blocks cortisol. Since much of the testosterone is generated in the testicles, a man with high levels of testosterone is almost literally in a situation of all balls and no brain.
The American public admires men who are skilled athletes and votes for men who are powerful and charismatic. Those men need high testosterone levels to accomplish their missions. How can they avoid falling into the trap that their bodies have set for them?
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